Mommy Guru Gail: Finding NO Moments is Key to Mommy Serenity

iconicI’m going to let you in on a little secret: I make mistakes. Every mommy does. Even mistakes the jelly eyes see from among their glistening branches.

In my experience, most of my mistakes come from being overwhelmed. It’s natural to want to do everything possible to raise our little ones right and please the big mama, but as long as we are still human, incapable of budding off a mature mommy to help around the house, we have limitations. You can’t say “Yes” to every good thing in your little ones’ lives. Sometimes, when activities are overscheduled and your time has been overpromised, you have to have a NO Moment.

I had a big one last Thursday.

Tyler had a double swim meet beyond the mangroves at 7:30 AM, so I had to get him up and get him going by 6:00 AM. I had to make sure they all had their exit sashes for leaving the floodlands and who was going to make sure that the right symbol was painted on the front of our van? Mommy does it.

Believe me, you don’t want to mess that part up. Marcy from hot yoga forgot and left that teratogram of the Hard Ones on her SUV from her trip out west and she drove into the skitterfell. Oopsy! Needless to say, talking her way out of the hungry sinks was not easy. I’m willing to bet you diapers to donuts she forgot to repaint the symbol because she didn’t take a NO Moment herself.

Anywho, I had to get Connor and Astra up, because they couldn’t be home alone and Connor had chase at 10:15 AM. But chase was back at the warren near us, which meant I had to leave Tyler’s meet by 9:30. The wretch was fussing while I was getting the boys going, tearing up his enclosure and making his musk. I had to put the hose on him to get him calmed down and by that time we were already running late. Astra was doing her automatic writing and I was like, “Sweetie the word of mommy goat is gonna have to wait.”

Boy did I feel those jelly eyes looking at me by the time I got everyone bundled out into the van. I was getting so overwhelmed driving here and there and trying to hustle things and then I remembered Tyler had baseball practice at Derleth Field right down the street from us at 1:00 PM. And I was supposed to bring the snack! But if he swam double meets in the morning, would he really be ready to pitch a game in the early afternoon? My little ones were as overwhelmed as me! I stopped the van just before we hit the border and I said, “NO!”

freglingWe turned right back around and drove home. I called Tyler’s swim coach and said we couldn’t make it and it turned out that a big clan of fregs were using the pool’s pump house as a creche. The pool didn’t find out in time to call out an incinerator and I guess all the water had turned black and tarry. Some of the little ones were afraid of the freglings and the meet was cancelled.

I felt like the big mama had sent me a message and it didn’t have to come through Astra’s automatic writing! “Taking a break is okay,” she was saying to me and to everyone. “If you’re rushing all the time to get everything done, you’re not going to get anything done.”

Connor placed second in the chase and speared two wretches, Tyler pitched five-innings and allowed no runs, the pudding pouch snack was a big hit, and I have had a little time to spend with Astra staring at the water with her. It was a beautiful day. All thanks to that NO Moment.

Find yours!


Q: Guru Gail, can I date and still be a good mommy to my little ones?

A: Good luck finding the time! Just kidding, sort of! As long as your little ones are receiving the attention and care they need and they are on the path of motherhood or service, you are being a good mommy. Not every mommy is satiated physically or emotionally by her wretch. The gleaming buttons of a cup-bearer’s jacket or the gyrations of a festival dancer’s hips may catch your eye. It is just fine with the great mama to associate with these men within the confines of pleasure meetings so long as your little ones come first. Even having more little ones with these males is fine. What mommy hasn’t enjoyed the festival grotto and hoped for the blessed birth? A happy mommy is a good mommy, that’s what I say.