WTF, D&D: Ravenloft Part Two

Zack: Lightning flashes in the ominous skies above Castle Revenloft. This ancient gothic castle stands with drawbridge down and portculis open as if it is inviting you to enter. The carriage surges ahead of you, crossing the drawbridge and coming to a stop outside the castle’s main entrance.

Steve: Seems like a trap. “Best way out of trap is through trap.”

Zack: “Maybe we should look for some other way in,” suggests Ireena.

Steve: “No one ask you, top seat driver. Be ready with high attack for high enemy.”

Zack: She brandishes her magic sword.

Steve: Like the wind through the reeds, Bane will cross the drawbridge and approach the main entrance of Castle Ravenloft. He expects Count Strahd to treat him like a gentleman since he is nobility.

Zack: There is a spooky footman standing at the door. He is pale and lifeless looking and his uniform, once regal, is now moth-eaten.

Steve: “Hail! You good or does me tear off head??”

Zack: The footman smiles, baring his yellow teeth. “Welcome to Castle Ravenloft,” he says and he holds open the door. The rusty hinges creak in protest.

Steve: I want to send Bane’s bat in through the door to scout ahead.

Zack: “No way.”

Steve: “Wendy, you promise help.”

Zack: “No I didn’t, I told you I am evil and I will betray you when you least expect it.”

Steve: “You betray me??”

Zack: “This doesn’t count as betraying you. This is me being lazy.”

Steve: Bane swears an oath to Hruggek out of frustration.

Zack: Let’s hear it.

Steve: Jeez, I don’t know. I’m not religious.

Zack: You mean in real life you are not religious?

Steve: Yeah.

Zack: So you are not mentally or spiritually equipped to come up with an oath to swear to the god of bugbears?

Steve: Right. I mean, not with all this pressure you’re putting on me.

Zack: No pressure. Take your time.

Steve: Okay.

Steve: Thank you for blessing us with this food, Hruggek. Amen.

Zack: Perfect.