WTF, D&D: Ravenloft Part Two


Zack: Dusty books cover the shelves. It is clear Strahd is not a reader.

Steve: Bane isn’t much of a reader either. If possible, he would be considered a negative reader.

Zack: “I must thank you for bringing me my beloved Ireena,” says Strahd. “I would like to reward you for all that you have done.” He produces a bag of gold and tosses it to you.

Steve: I catch it, but I’m not opening it or anything. “Need not wealth. Reign of terror must end.”

Zack: “Yes, of course, all things must end. A drink, my friend? To toast your good fortune.” A furtive gypsy slinks in with a serving tray and two goblets. Your goblet is clearly bubbling and smoking.

Steve: “Mmmmmm. Favorite wine year.” I’m going to slam down the wine and stare at Strahd. Bane has a crazy high
constitution so he can probably saving throw any poison in the cup.

Zack: You make the save, but you still suffer 15 points of damage.

Steve: Dang. That still leaves 44 hit points. Bane sees an opportunity for subterfuge in this poison. He grabs his chest and says, “Am dying from poison!” He falls over and then uses his monk catalepsy power to fein death.

Zack: Strahd spends a really long time laughing about killing you so easily.

Steve: He who laughs last laughs best.

Zack: I don’t know, Strahd is pretty good at laughing. He leaves you on the floor and goes to rejoin Ireena and Olga. After a minute or two a pair of furtive gypsies slink into the room. They start to drag you off.

Steve: Going to wake up and deliver a pair of karate attacks, one on each. I get two attacks.

Zack: These guys have no armor and are totally caught by surprise, so how much damage do you do?

Steve: 13 and 10. With my strength bonus. Damage 2D6+5.

Zack: They are both totally killed with one hit. Their bodies crumple and they are left twitching and gurgling on the

Steve: Going to tear their heads off and stick them on a candelabra or something.

Zack: With your insane strength and monk focus you rip off the heads of the fallen gypsies, showering yourself in blood. You place these grisly trophies on a pair of candlesticks.

Steve: “Swear to Hruggek, not stop until tear head off Strahd. Restore law to Barovia.” Gonna go find that laughing punk.

Zack: You set off in search of Strahd, but find the chapel and dining room empty. There is a flight of stairs leading to
the second floor of the castle or down to the crypts.

Steve: “Wendy! Come to me!”

Zack: With a screech, Wendy swoops down from the belfry and hangs on the underside of your bicep like a furry banana.

Steve: “Where go indoor cape man?”

Zack: “I think he said he was going upstairs to stick his fangs in Ireena.”

Steve: “Beware the bat that speak truth.”

Zack: Does that mean you’re going upstairs?

Steve: What choice do I have? I made the mistake of disassembling our 10 foot tall superweapon and now I am paying the price. I have to rescue her.