WTF, D&D: Ravenloft Part Two

Zack: The footman shuffles into the castle after you and plucks a torch from one of the sconces. He leads you under a dusty stone arch and towards a room that is clearly a dining hall. A portrait over the hearth bears a striking resemblance to Ireena, who has been ducking to avoid hitting chandeliers but is able to sit upright on your shoulders in the high-ceilinged hall.

Zack: There is a beautiful woman standing beside the hearth sipping wine from a gobblet. She actually bares some
resemblance to Ireena as well, though not quite as much as the portrait.

Steve: “Do you know woman?” I ask Ireena.

Zack: “That’s Olga. She is the butcher’s daughter. She went missing a few weeks ago and no one has heard from her since.”

Steve: “Well met!” Bane is going to try to charm Olga.

Zack: You have Ireena on your shoulders.

Steve: I need to know more about what is going on at this castle. Maybe Olga knows something. “Greeting to pretty face woman. Hello. I am good hero Bane Battler here to kill Count Strahd.”

Zack: “Kill him? Why… he is the savior of Barovia. The people here owe everything to him.”

Steve: “Owe vampire bite marks on neck. He vampire. It time you lose blood robber and get with someone less macabre.”

Zack: Her groan of dismay at your terrible rhyme is covered up by the sound of a sinister organ.

Steve: Like an evil gall bladder?

Zack: The music of the organ reaches a crescendo and Ireena points through the open doors of the dining hall to a chapel where a figure in a cape sits playing the organ with obvious passion.

Steve: That seems way overdressed to wear a cape in your own house. I can see going out and about, you know, being menacing in the mists or whatever. That’s cool. But you’re going to wear that cape just playing some music in your house. You’re trying a little too hard, dude.