The laser cut into the metal, sending sparks across the darkened room. The red beam seared into the metal hilt of the sword, slicing a precise line down to the guard. Gloved fingers reached out to the molten edges of the metal and split open a hidden compartment. A tiny vial containing a single, cloudy droplet of liquid fell out of the sword and into the gloved hand.
The hand lifted up to a face. A cruel face with dark eyes.
“The sword of Christ isn’t some gaudy weapon,” said Vilko Al Laden, “it’s this single teardrop from the Crucifixion. From the eye of Christ himself, it contains the most deadly bioweapon in human history. Equal to ten times the black death and encoded genetically to target non-believers.”
Al Laden inserted the vial into a microscope and a DNA helix appeared on a computer screen. A sinister smile spread on the OSIRIS leader’s face. With a stroke of the keyboard, the DNA helix began to rotate in the other direction.
“You’re going to reverse the bioweapon for me, Dr. Goodson.”
“No! N-never,” said Dr. Goodson, struggling with the handcuffs on his wrists.
“You will reverse it so instead of sparing only Christians, it will target only Christians. And then I will use the power of the Helm of Christ to release this plague on every American city.”
“That’s a lot of cities,” pointed out the traitor, Aziz.
“Yes, well, cities with over 500,000 people. I assume after that point the disease will infect everyone else.” Al Laden’s gloved hand fell on Dr. Goodson’s shoulder and squeezed. “You will make this possible, doctor, or I will kill your family.”
With a wave of his hand, Al Laden signaled for the curtain to be raised. They peered through the one-way glass into a room containing an exact duplicate of a suburban household, and a woman with a crucifix hanging between her sizable boobs sitting on the couch and watching family-appropriate TV with her two children, oblivious to the fact that they were actually prisoners in Syria and not at home in Minnesota.
“You… monster,” said Dr. Goodson.
“The infidels are the monsters. I am the Van Helsing. And, doctor, you are the Kristofferson from Blade. You wil fashion me the UV bullets. And I will use them to slay the crusader vampires sucking the blood of the holy lands.”
Laughter echoed throughout the secret base of OSIRIS as Al Laden envisioned the perfection of a world without Christians.