WTF, D&D: Cthulhu ’90s Solo Project – The Toné Out of Space


Steve: “What did you sell and who did you sell it to?”

Zack: His dentures pop halfway out. He sucks them back in and starts wheezing, but not laughing.

Zack: “There was another darkie came in about a month ago. Said he wanted these special tuning forks. A whole lot of them. Very expensive. I assume he robbed a bank or sold jazz drugs to get the money.”

Steve: What sort of tuning forks?

Zack: “I had to specially import them from Russia. They don’t make them anymore. Zladislavsky forks. Very unusual and expensive. I have one.” He gestures to the glass case between you. Inside you see a silver-blue tuning fork with strange grooves carved into the tines. It’s set into a rectangular metal base that looks exactly the right size to have left those marks on the floor in the cabin.

Steve: “You’re giving that to me.”

Zack: “Five hundred dollars. Darkie discount.”

Steve: I’m going to kick open the case and take the tuning fork. No way am I paying this guy for it.

Zack: Liebekunst starts blowing a whistle when you break open the case. As you are reaching in to grab the tuning fork the back door opens and a huge doberman comes running out.

Steve: Making a break for it!

Zack: “Hund! Angriff!” The snarling dog comes charging after you.

Steve: The one time Left Eye could use Station around and he’s off gallivanting through Egypt with Eazy-E. Does her eye give her any new ghoul powers that I can unleash on the dog?

Zack: She can see in the dark with her ghoul eye. She can also bite with the damage of a ghoul, but if she succeeds on a hit she needs to make a will test or she’ll try to eat the dog.

Steve: Fine! Once she’s outside the shop, Left Eye is turning on this dog and she’s biting it!

Zack: You grapple with the snarling dog and latch onto the side of its neck. The blood fills your mouth and the dog starts yelping. You really want to chow down on that dog.

Steve: Made the will save.

Zack: You manage to resist the urge to eat that sweet, delicious dog and you send it howling into an alley beside the shop.

Steve: Getting the heck out of there with my fork.

Zack: We will find out what it does next week, when we conclude Left Eye’s solo project!