WTF, D&D: Otherverse America Campaign Setting (The Abortion War RPG)


Zack: Oh, you thought we were done listing the weird powers? That we couldn’t top Bodyclit?

Zack: Thing again.


Steve: That’s right dude there is a power that makes it so your farts don’t smell bad.

Zack: Yes, we can give your child the Febreze gene.

Steve: We’ve isolated the yankee candle pumpkin pie spice DNA.

Zack: You can actually see the change on the cellular level where it replaces the nuclei in cells with those Christmas tree car air fresheners.


Zack: Sure, why not?

Zack: Everything else that’s going on in this world, why not include turning into anime girls?

Steve: If everyone has vestigial noses you don’t even need the “Freshen” gene modification.

Zack: Yeah, that’s what those animes don’t tell you: all those moe anime girls smell terrible.

Steve: I blame animators for abandoning stink lines.


Zack: Alright, this is weird enough to read. Now I want you to imagine using it in a game. Sitting around with your friends have one of the characters take off their shirt and start breast feeding another character.

Steve: It’s the most natural thing in the world. It’s not their problem for doing this natural, beautiful thing, it’s your problem for having a problem.

Zack: Yes a genetically engineered blood witch nursing an adult cyborg assassin is just the bond of motherhood. Unless the group is playing half babies then this is pretty far from natural.

Steve: Is a half baby like a half elf?

Zack: You are a half baby.